I’M TAKING BACK THE INTERNET ON MY TERMS
Can you even FREAKING imagine how excited a 2006 Alison was when she realized she could talk to the WORLD WIDE WEB via a…what’s that crazy, fun, word again? A blob? A blurb? Oh yes. A blog! A BLOG!
I guess if you don’t know me, it might be hard to imagine. So to quickly set the scene: I’m the middle child of 5, have incredibly high-achieving parents and siblings, have a large personality that seems to confuse most of the conventional, ambitious “normal” southern Californians and Utahns where I reside. And I have an undying love for clever naughty humor, HUMANS (like all of them) and being a STAR!
Finding out that I was allowed to talk to EVERYONE, with NO GATEKEEPER was akin to winning the lottery. The fact I could write, share nonsense, love, zingers and make myself laugh with my own absurdity just felt too good to be true. Not to mention, has anyone noticed I like talking to people?
I started a blog, called SHE BLOGS SHE BLOGS–but I still felt like a narcissist for doing it (was my neurosis ahead of the trend or what?!), so I told myself I was allowed to blog IF and only if my intention was to put love in the world.
Nearly 20 years later, a top 100 iTunes podcast, a nationally published book, 100 + keynotes, dozens of events serving thousands and thousands of people and the uprise of social media AS WE KNOW it, and officially in 2021 THE FUN HAD LEFT THE BUILDING.
But I’m happy to report that after a FULL and V. PAINFUL shift of life, relationships, work, priorities, healing, healing, and more healing, as well as letting go of everything I ever knew and counted on to affirm and validate me, I WANT TO TALK TO THE WORLD AGAIN!
And because deep in my little anarchist, chaos-loving, raccoon-identifying heart, I cannot STAND to be forced into conventions I find inefficient and counterproductive to the enlightenment of the SPECIES, I vote for decentralization of my time. AKA SOCIAL MEDIA AND ITS ALGORITHMS!
Here are the top 3 difference between 2006 Alison and 2025 Alison:
- I DON’T NEED YOU, BUT BABY, OH BABY I WANT YOU
- I’M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO GIVE ME PERMISSION
- I’M AT HOME IN MY BODY, I KNOW MY POWER, I KNOW MY TRUTH
MY INTENTIONS:
- SHARING IS CARING
- I think I stopped believing this for a minute. Not because it’s NOT true, but because it wasn’t “caring” for myself to be “sharing” for everyone else. But now I see it more like: sharing and connecting to people is an integral part of what brings me true joy. We are a social species, and I have been so inspired, saved, and elevated by the words, art and attention from others. Because I have been given much, I too must give. But more importantly, I WANT to.
- I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
- I live in Provo Utah. On the day Charlie Kirk was shot, I (who am SUPER cautious to over-consume news) learned about the shooting from an email from my child’s elementary school confirming that none of the students were on UVU campus during the time of the shooting. I was sitting on my pink velvet chaise lounge, trying to cobble together this very site, feeling defeated, irrelevant and frustrated. But after allowing myself a moment to cry, shout at God, and pause, I had this FULL BODY feeling and the thought:
“It’s time to stop pretending like you are not of service Alison. People are suffering, the world is divided, and YOU know you can help. It’s time to show up.”
- I WANT TO BE OF SERVICE
- Maybe I feel like it’s TIME because the shooting was literally 10 minutes away from my house. Maybe because I FINALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY again. Maybe it’s time because I needed to stop fretting about myself and my insecurities. Maybe it’s time because I’ve tried the alternative, meaning, I told myself, “You do not need to be ONLINE, and PUBLIC to be of service!” THIS IS SOOOO TRUE. I’ve been volunteering and showing up in my community. Active on boards and in schools, serving at funerals, bringing people meals and having fun with teenagers. It is good, it is great. But in my heart I KNOW I need to be building and creating on a larger scale to feel fulfilled. BECAUSE IT IS FUN FOR ME! I want to use and develop my gifts, and allow myself to go and do what I know is part of my path. To share words, art, and what I’ve learned about being truly, fully, ALIVE AND WELL.
TO BE CLEAR THIS IS V. MUCH SELF-SERVING
I do not need to delude myself, or excuse myself or explain myself for wanting to share online. I’m not giving myself permission to show up ONLY because I’m sharing love. I got to a point where I thought I had to completely rid myself of the need for outside validation. Super great, right? How noble! How wise!
MEH. It’s true that NO ONE, no success, no amount of money praise or validation was or will ever be ENOUGH to make me feel whole and “good.” Needing the validation of others to feel worthy to be alive and have needs = a lot of suffering.
BUT, as a wise friend and coach said to me a month ago, “You’re allowed to want it, Alison. To want praise and compliments and validation! It’s your love language, your gift. You love talking to people. You love being helpful. It makes you SO HAPPY, of course you want to connect and have fun with them. You’re allowed to like validation.”
In other words, it’s not the validation I miss, it’s the CONNECTION.
I know the best way for I, Alison Faulkner, to be of service AND find joy is to start talking.
WHY??? Because MY history has shown me: if I get a conversation going, and listen to the needs, questions and ideas of those who are interested in the conversation, I can then create offerings, events, courses or workshops to help meet the needs of the people I’m lucky enough to find and be found by.
I painted this picture to remind me:
Here’s my heart, here’s my horse, LET’S GO.
xoxo,
ALISON